No I dont...

....want a 'bigger penis'

..nor do I want to see XXX hot teens in action....even if they are 'barely legal' . Does that mean they only have one tyre on the yellow line?

....and strangely I've never been drawn to 'buff boys get it up to the elbow'......well not very drawn to it anyway......

But still I get these amazing offers in my inbox (no pun intended) everyday.

Where are the offers of "hot pies delivered free to your door" or "bigger overdraft....no charge" or even "save your elbow grease we'll come round and do your hosuework"

I guess it doesn't quite have the same ring to it does it? But it would have me hooked on a lonely Saturday night. hmmmm pies.....

......as the BF's dad says...there's a lot of rubbish on the interweb............

After Much...

....in depth discussion with the BF. I have come to the conclusion that for me ....................


.........the ultimate

3-some mixed sex session for me would be with Angelina Jolie & Bradd Pitt.........

3-some same sex Johnny Depp & Skeet Ulritch.................

3-some all same sex session Angelina Jolie & her cloned twin..........

the ultimate girl on girl action would be with.......Angeline Jolie.............


hang on I see a pattern here...................

Today I....

...fell over.

It was outside

It was next to a queue of traffic

It was next to road builder guys that are digging holes in the south circular.

It wasn't even a good fall, no arms flailing and giant comic lunges. No.

It was trip, stumble and splat.

I had to take a moment sitting on the church wall, pretending I had hurt myself, until the traffic moved and I could carry on running.

I think I got away with it..................

And now it's Newsnight with Jeremy Paxton........

George Galloway...name dropping, homo kissing, bathrobe wearing patronising smug fucker

Pete Burns.....wig wearing, gorilla killing, shoe gluing guppy face....seriously Simon Weston doesn't look as bad as he does

Denis Rodman.......dur...dur....dur "wanna fuck a black man"....dur...dur...dur..."London people are assholes" Oh. Really? No we are just assholes to twats

Michael 'tell me they still love me dahling' Barrymore....you winging, finger pointing (at least he wasn't fisting this time) foot shuffling cry baby bunting. Maybe you should have gone for a swim in your pool instead...............

Rula Lenska.......spineless

Black Baywatch woman......."I'm gonna move to London"..."we should all try to get along"....earth calling......

Chantelle....never thought I'd say it but this blonde 20 something from Essex is about one of the sanest in there.....

White Man with glasses...... WHO ARE YOU?

Jodie Marsh......I actually hope she wins....seriously, unless I have missed something that the rest of the world has seen, everytime I switch on all I see is a bunch of old men pointing their fingers and shouting at her. What is that all about?


And that concludes my analysis of the current politcal climate.